It happened again yesterday…
Me: How are you?
Them, hands me my order: Good. [Awkward silence.]
Me, takes order: Thanks, have a good one!
Them: [Silence.]
End reenactment.
Every time I visit this local shop for an order pick up, I’m “greeted” by the same person who, time and time again, refuses to reciprocate my pleasantries. Yesterday, less resilient from a grief flare, it wore me down.
Yes, I know no one owes me anything. But I’m also spending money there so it would be nice to have the manners laid on a tad thicker, tbh.
I don’t know their name just as much as I don’t know who they are inside (being a literal stranger.) Yet I wonder.
I watched Thunderbolts aka the depression Avengers last night. The metaphor of the void, more specifically the opening lines spoken by Yelena, Florence Pugh’s character, linger.
Is it their void who is blocking the ability to extend polite reciprocity? Or is it mine that’s being triggered? Or both?
As a society it feels like we are more accustomed to learn and mirror substandard behavior back to each other. Our conditioning and/or voids playing out a cycle of Barney Stinson’s chain of screaming. Or maybe even worse: a cycle of apathy. I miss the good behaviors blossoming despite, from the Emily Post manners to the pay it forward types. They still exist of course yet feel far and few.
I don’t think it’s fair to have consistent one-sided two person exchanges. That’s where resentment starts to build.
My expectations are not high. I crave for these interactions to play out like my (armchair traveler) understanding of the rules of engagement in French society. I learned from YouTube expats that when entering and exiting a store, it’s expected to exchange bonjour and bonne journee. Simple. Effective.
Resentment is not cute. It makes me want to ask someone I don’t even know: have I done something to offend you? To which they’ll likely say no because not everything is that targeted. Or at least as personal as I feel it is.
Whatever the reason, in these casual non-exchanges with people who are barely acquaintances, there’s nothing you can do to change them in the situation.
But there is something you can do for yourself… because if you’re anything like me, you don’t want it interfering with your lil errands or be an energy suck to your creative flow. So you need to take control - of your narrative, perspective, boundaries. All in about ten minutes.
That’s right, there’s an actionable task coming…
I’m introducing a new series to help1 when anything disrupts or challenges your immaculate vibes. I’ve been doing it for years and has helped me behind the scenes. I want to share it here to transform this space into a soft and fun place to land when you need it most.
I’ll be building a library so you can do just that. Predictability is the new dopamine hit after all. And it’s delivered through my special hyper focused love language of pop culture - featuring human moments from my favorite shows so we can tap into universal themes that are most relevant, enjoyable, and helpful to you.
I can’t wait to share more with you soon! Stay tuned.
Until then, tell me in the comments: is there someone like this person in your day-to-day life? Are you bothered by their aloofness or do you prefer it?
This is my I’m not a doctor or mental health professional disclaimer. I’m just a student of life sharing what I’ve learned along the way. This us a gentle reminder to please seek professional help whenever necessary ❤️