The power of the pivot

How to step into the unknown of your intuition

Things happen for a reason. We’ve all heard this.

But have you heard it this way?

Things don’t happen for a reason.

Sometimes the blessing is in the lack. And when it comes to creativity, sometimes that’s the lack of motivation.

That lack isn’t just procrastination or creative blocks at work. It also can be a sign.

We live in hustle culture where grinding through the everyday, often without questioning why, is the norm.

But to question is to step into your intuition and allow yourself the opportunity for your inner wisdom to reveal a greater truth to you.

Personally, this has come up for me lately and a lot of guilt has surrounded it. Because I physically haven’t been able to press “publish” on a post here since back in March. They’ve been planned. They’re ready. But if I’m being honest, in a small, covert way, they’re also denying me of my full creative self.

Not because they're watered down or unauthentic in any way. They are placeholders, stand-ins if you will, for the content that I really want to put out there but am afraid to. I’m talking about the “say it with my full chest” kind of content. The stuff that lights me up but I worry no one else will “get”.

It takes me back to third grade (I promise this isn’t turning into a therapy sesh…) Our teacher decided to have students teach “special hobby” classes where other students could sign up to learn how to make one of their favorite crafts.

My offering was making dolls out of clothes pins, yarn, fabric scraps, and markers. I was obsessed with giving them elaborate personas and acting out everything from concerts to interpersonal dramas.

My mom helped me gather all the supplies. I practiced distilling my process down to clear, teachable steps. I arrived excited and with butterflies in my stomach. Sat at the table surrounded by my passion, I watched my classmates pass by, choosing any table but mine. I thought eventually someone would join me but they never did.

Sadly, I don’t remember loving my clothes pin people quite as much after that. They were associated with rejection in my tiny, growing brain. I wish I’d kept that spark alive for myself and not have tied it to anything conditional.

My acceptance was enough. I know that now…

I just need to live it better.

I owe it to that little version of me, I owe it to present-day me, and I owe it to you to stop being afraid.

Making promises is complicated as a creative who’s also a manifesting generator, chronically ill, and ADHD. But letting go of fear is one promise I’m learning I need to prioritize and feel okay being perfectly imperfect with.

This isn’t just about me. This is a lesson for you too. You owe it to yourself to cut back on what you think you “should” be doing and be okay with stopping it (even though it may disappoint someone out there) in order to really listen to your intuition.

Where is it telling you to go, do, be that you aren’t fully leaning into? What is the resistance shining a spotlight on?

Don’t resist the message. Because it probably is leading you somewhere better than what feels safest and “accepted”. It’s a call to let go of the shoulds and pave a path that puts your creative vision first.

Sometimes that path needs to be paved with the ability to swap out the pavers, making it brick one day, and gravel the next. Creative flexibility is something that I’ve found myself denying myself here too.

You are the constant. I am the constant. The variation that happens outside of that is actually your special sauce. It’s not indecision, flakiness, or laziness as fear may want us to think.

Let’s allow ourselves to embrace our creative strengths better. I’ll go first, okay?

I’ve decided that my heart lies in being more chaotic than curated here. That’s my strength. What I channel and what lights me up struggles to be scheduled ahead of time. I deserve to let my fully charged, present excitements and musings flow as they need to rather than what “should” come and when. Notice the difference?

This isn’t unlike a canvas. We need to treat our digital spaces more like one. We can stand back and study it. Following our intuition to the next stroke. Not doing a paint-by-number routine.

So in other words, I’m un-paint-by-numbering my posting process. And again I urge you to do the same in whatever spaces in your life are begging you for it.

It likely won’t result in that much of a difference from the outside except for more good vibes coming through. That’s because our internal struggle feels the loudest. It’s also what can’t stop us from trusting ourselves that we know best. It’s the opposite of a let down. The antonyms of which are support, satisfy, and do one’s bit. Focus on the energy of those instead!

I can’t wait for what comes next. Trust me it’s going to be feel so much better.